MBFWJ What Not to Wear

I very seldom post negative pieces about how people dress. Mostly I think it is none of my business. When it is my business, is when it is at an event. Specifically on a red carpet or at a fashion event. Then it is very definitely my business. So there are a few things I need to point out, based at what I witnessed at fashion week this past few days.
1. It is not ok to be able to see your knickers. It is particularly not ok to wear a dress so tight one can see your gynecological parts. Most unseemly and utterly ridinkidonk that this needs to be said. Have some dignity people!
2. The clue that your shorts are too short is when you can see the pockets and half your bum cheeks hanging out. Or, a quicker clue, when you can see the gusset line of your pantyhose. Seriously.
3. Nip slips are one thing when it is a genuine mistake. They are totally another when your dress simply doesn't fit you. It is ok to go a size up to fit in your whole bust. This is in fact advisable. Thanks.
4. If you attend a fashion event, it is best to know what is in fashion. Not what was in fashion last season. It sounds harsh, but a bit of homework will go a long way. Or hire a stylist.
5. The last word in style is not a skin tight jersey knit dress that ends just a smidge below your butt cheeks, combined with a platform heel. One would think it was since there were hundreds of you wearing this specific look to fashion week, but I assure you with all my years of experience and professionalism, it is not. It is in fact a travesty. Stop it. Please. Just stop it. Wear a dress, not a top. It is actually much more flattering to wear a length that ends mid-thigh if you must wear a mini. You are just making your legs look heavier than they are by going so short. Also it is not a dress if it doesn't actually cover some of your legs. It is just a top. Please note.
So what do I advise?
1. Check from the back before you go out. If you can't bend, put your hand on your waist or sit without showing your knickers or cheeks, you are not wearing a dress. Change immediately.
2. Wear something attractive. There were plenty of beautifully dressed women at fashion week that didn't show off all their stuff. In fact the ladies that had a flounce in their skirt or a draped back were A LOT more sexy than the gazillions in the top-dress situation.
3. Buy clothes that actually fit you. The number on the label doesn't matter. In fact bigger, nipped in is much more flattering than skin tight or falling down. So go up a size if in any doubt. Please.
3. It is easy to update a basic little black dress or little white dress with cool shoes and a neckpiece or something. You don't need to spend a lot to keep up to date. But please just keep up to date.
4. And wear everything with confidence. Size is irrelevant, but a lovely personality and bags of confidence go a long way to looking lovely.
I look forward to a much improved showing at the next event. Excellent. Good chat.