Coachella 2012 Style: What Not To Wear

Oh dear. Every year the usual suspects get it wrong. For some reason they go from their normal, every day clothes, into the age of Aquarius. Overnight. Like Coachella is a giant hippie costume party. The amount of Native American headdresses that were spotted was an embarrassment. And that Vanessa Hudgens always has to take it too far. No one goes full Native American. Everyone knows that. Duh.

And if it wasn't feathers on the head, it was flower garlands. Yes I am looking at you, Katy Perry. And your see-through dress. As you do. Especially after the night before when you went full-goth. And not in a good way. (I used to be a Goth. I can say that. And I love brothel creepers. And still. No.)

Paris Hilton took it even further. After flashing her yellow knickers the first day, she auditioned for a part in the musical Hair the next. I have no words for this look. If you can call it that. Seriously.

And then there was Fergie. Poor, dear Fergie. With her extremely hot husband Josh Duhamel, she looks like she is home on the range. Where the deer and the buffalo play. Why? Really, why? Stop it.